5 Wikipedia Articles You Should Know About

by a contributor

from Sally J. Johnson, author of Eczema, Exoskeleton:

1. The Mellified Man

What’s more fun than body donation? Body donation premortem, I’d say. Like, when a man eats only honey in preparation of giving his body up and the man’s organs fail after excreting only honey. And then the man’s body is placed in a coffin of honey and then the mixture his mummified honey-body creates is sold as medicine on the streets.

Tom Six, I give you your next movie.

2. Spite Houses

Don’t you just love human beings? This is literally a list of people who were total dicks and built a house or an addition to a house for the sole purpose of pissing off somebody else. The best part about this phenomenon is that it’s just like the richer, one-step-up version of other spite structures. As the article says: “spite houses are much rarer than spite fences.”

3. Cymothoa exigua, or the Tongue Eating Louse

What if there was a parasite that climbed inside its host’s mouth, ate its tongue, and replaced the organ with it’s own body? Then, what if the host could still use the parasite as a tongue while the parasite kept on living it’s little faux-tongue life inside the host’s mouth? It’d look a little something like this.

4. Handkerchief Code

You gotta know what freak flag you’re flyin’.

5. Wikipedia’s Wikipedia Page

Meta, FTW! Seriously, though, this is a beautiful piece of brainfuck. This is the Wikipedia article for those who don’t know what Wikipedia is. Note: “As a consequence of the open structure, Wikipedia ‘makes no guarantee of validity’ of its content, since no one is ultimately responsible for any claims appearing in it.” Which, could be totally true or it could have been written but some douche who just watched Tosh.0 and thought that would be fucking hilarious. Bonus(?): this article contains a list and all-out link party of all the grossest/NSFW things on Wikipedia in order to point out Wikipedia’s (non-)actions after being criticized for having such articles in the first place.